I haven’t fully explained why I re-started/refreshed my blog. The person who inspiration to write online again was a lovely blogger called Pascale over at allthingsprettyy (go visit her page).
We accidentally “met” on Instagram towards the end of January. Initially I saw a ‘like’ on a couple of my pictures on my instagram and the comment of a heart under the photo which was a bit of a make up of the day vibe. Now, because of that I decided to pop over and look at Pascale’s Instagram. I remember thinking “ah okay, she’s also a make up junkie, cool” and carried on scrolling through and liking some of her photos (she’s really good at taking photos). Then I stumbled upon a picture that P had posted: “Keep calm my brain’s just falling out” was the message on the image and in the caption she had linked her blog explaining that she had been diagnosed with Chiari Malformation. Woah, what? Wait a minute! Now this is someone who has stumbled on my Instagram, liked a picture of basically my face and it turns out we have the same condition. Obviously, I became a little more interested and decided to look up her blog. Honestly, I don’t think I have ever read anything that a non- professional has written that was more accurate, honest and clear explanation of our condition and some of the ways it affects us. There are so, so many parts of P’s post that I could relate to and it put a lump in my throat. It took me right back to when I was newly diagnosed and not quite knowing what I was going to endure following the diagnosis. If Ps blog was there back in 2012 I know I would have felt a lot more prepared. I decided to direct message her (not really something I ever do to people I don’t know). Her response just made my heart melt. She had no idea that I had the condition too.
After a few chats and reading Ps blog I felt so inspired to write. Not strictly about my experience (although I probably will do a proper post about that at some point thanks to the incredible way P explained her story). The fact that having a blog has not only helped her spread awareness of something we are both living with but that she just writes really lovely posts and is such a positive person. The way that Pascale writes, has literally lit the candle to get me going again.
So, due to the brainy issue (and other health stuff) I’m someone that has a lot of “spare” time at the moment. I’ve been working out what changes I want to make so that I have a more fulfilled and balanced life. This will no doubt please my close friends and family as they always lectured me on “burning out” they could see how I was frazzling myself but I refused to see it (or more like, I refused to admit it)!
What I didn’t explain in my previous posts about challenging myself is that I’m going to really try this year to listen to my body, listen to those who are the best team of “scaffolding” I could wish for (as they are often the ones trying to hold me up) and to do small things to make a difference to myself and others. I never fully appreciated how much my diagnosis and pretty much lack of self care affected them!
The biggest change has to be my mental attitude. I have always been so good at putting on a front – to EVERYONE. This includes to my Drs. I felt anxious and developed something like a phobia of having people, especially medical professionals come near me. It sounds pathetic but it is something I am really trying to overcome. It’s not good for my physical health if I don’t address that issue.
RED January was just the start. I felt really, really awful at some points in January – it may have taken a little longer than one full month to complete the challenge but I did it. I thought a lot about my Dad during the time I spent doing stints on the treadmill or dragging myself out for fresh air. He came out the other side of chronic depression when I was in my teens. He was able to support my Grandad when the mental burden of progressive cancer took a hold. He was incredibly inspirational when he supported my Grandma after Grandad left this world and in turn he was tireless in being there, providing the tough love and the gentle care of my Grandma until she died 9 years after Grandad.
The idea to set myself small challenges/changes/projects just came from how I felt throughout the majority on January. Doing “something” productive or creative or a form of exercise every day I will turn the emotional and mental greyness (that I often feel) into something more colourful.
Pascale was definitely a splash of colour at the right time! We occasionally “check in” with each other and I absolutely know that she just gets it!
P, you are a wonderful human being! x
I love reading and hearing about people who inspire others in their every day lives. I mean, we all get inspired at sometime or another by people in the limelight but it’s important that the ones without spot lights following them get some credit when it’s due.
Maybe this will become a “thing” on my blog… “People that inspire me”. This is part one! Why not shine a light on those that do wonderful things, that are incredible role models and those that just make us feel loved and driven to be the best version of ourselves?
Go visit Pascale on her platforms and give all of the likes and loves to this incredible human! Tell her I sent you!